Most of us have some sort of toxic belief.
It may not be about money…perhaps it is a toxic relationship belief?
Or perhaps you believe something that is holding you back from being as healthy as you can be?
The worst part about toxic beliefs is that you don’t even know you have them.
They’re THAT toxic.
Toxic beliefs are wealth killers.
Happiness busters.
Destroyers of hopes and dreams.
The point is…we all have something holding us back!
Here are 12 toxic beliefs to change if you want to build wealth and live a happy life:
Toxic Belief #1: Life should be easy
Life has NEVER been easy!
From the dawn of humanity, life has been suffering, death, AND poverty.
Why do you expect it to be any easier for us?
We are using hunter-gatherer hardware in today’s chaotic modern world. It’s just not easy.
Life IS hard. But it is supposed to be that way.
Once you accept that life IS hard, then it’s much easier to stop fighting against it and start expecting it to be hard.
You can start to do hard things. Push through the pain. Make things happen.
If you want a great life, you have to put in the work!
Book Recommendation: Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins
Toxic Belief #2: I need to be rich to be happy
No, you don’t need to be rich to be happy. This was a lie that society sold you through movies, books, and television!
Happiness starts TODAY.
You DON’T NEED money to be happy!
You DO NEED good relationships, gratitude, proper expectations, and autonomy/control of your life
Money helps a little, but you can be happy at any income level.
Book Recommendation: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben
Toxic Belief #3. My title makes me important
I was the CEO of my company. Guess what? It doesn’t mean shit!
My kids don’t care.
My wife doesn’t care.
Other people don’t care!
If I change my profession tomorrow, it’s like changing my clothes, I am untouched. Are you your clothes? Are you your name? Are you your profession? Stop identifying with them. They come and go.
Awareness by Anthony De Mello
Titles are like clothes.
You should be able to take them off and put them back on as you, please.
Your title doesn’t make you important, so stop acting like a dick. That’s all ego.
Book Recommendation: Awareness by Anthony De Mello
Toxic Belief #4: I need to be perfect
Sorry to break it to you, but there is NO SUCH THING as perfect!
A 9/10 is good enough.
Heck, even 85% effort is good enough (actually it’s better).
Perfectionism is tying you down when you want to be liberated!
“Perfect” is the lie we all tell ourselves
You don’t have to be perfect to build wealth.
You don’t have to be perfect to be a good parent.
You don’t have to be perfect to build a great business.
You do not have to be perfect to accomplish great things.
Book Recommendation: Essentialism by Greg McKeown
Toxic Belief #5: I know everything I need to know
Where do I even start?
Personal growth starts with learning.
I’ve learned more after college than before.
I’d even argue that I’ve even learned more since retirement, than before retirement.
Beginners’ mind is how I learned to code, pitch VCs, become a leader, and fix my finances.
You can’t grow as a person if you aren’t working to learn in some way.
You can’t grow your career if you aren’t willing to stack new skills.
You can’t become a millionaire if you don’t learn how to manage your money.
If you think you know everything. You probably know nothing.
But the best part is now you can learn via podcasts, youtube, books, audiobooks, networking, and even ChatGPT.
Book Recommendation: The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
Toxic Belief #6: I am a failure or I can’t fail at this
In reality, failure LEADS to success.
When you fail, you are gaining new skills, perspectives, and focus.
It’s like completing a maze – you hit dead ends and know where NOT to go!
I failed at my first startup. It taught me what I NEEDED to succeed.
Book Recommendation: The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
Toxic Belief #7: I need to make more money to grow my wealth
Factually false on all accounts!
Wealth building starts at ANY income level and with ANY career.
If you can save money making $30K a year, you can save money making $300K
A higher income is great, but the real work starts NOW.
Of course, growing your income is certainly helpful, but it won’t matter if you can’t manage your expenses.
Book Recommendation: The Millioniare Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley & William D. Dank
Toxic Belief #8: I’m not good enough
Yes, YOU are good enough.
Some of us are luckier than others to be born in the right place and time – as Buffett says “I won the ovarian lottery”
But anyone can learn, and anyone can DO THE WORK.
You are good enough…but only if you put in enough effort to bust through the dip!
The “I’m not good enough” mindset is because you haven’t yet pushed your boulder up the hill.
Book Recommendation: Getting to Yes with Yourself by William Ury
Toxic Belief #9: I worked hard, so I “deserve it”
We ALL work hard!
I can afford a Tesla, but I don’t buy one.
I can afford a vacation home, but I don’t own one.
Building wealth requires sacrifice and smart purchasing decisions.
Everything else is just keeping up with the Joneses.
Book Recommendation: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
Toxic Belief #10: If I win, someone else has to lose
Just false! I choose to “expand the pie,” rather than holding it all for myself.
Putting together win-win deals is the best way to drive forward in business and in life.
Win-win deals stay put a lot longer than deals that were win-lose.
And in most industries, there is room for many players.
Your competitors are actually your friends, your employee recruiting pool, and your motivation all wrapped into one!
Book Recommendation: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Toxic Belief #11: If I don’t work long hours, I can’t be successful
I can say without a doubt that you do not need to work long hours to succeed.
Hours worked doesn’t translate into wealth.
The more hours you work, the more likely it is you are wasting your time. You may be literally “filling” the time with things to do, rather than focusing on what you actually need to get done.
Instead of hours worked, you should focus on your effectiveness.
The most effective among us have the same number of hours as everyone else, yet they deploy them better, often much better than people with far greater raw talent.
– Peter F. Drucker, The Effective Executive
When your emphasis is less on how busy you are and how many hours you are working and more on how effective and productive you are, the hours you work truly do not matter.
Book Recommendation: Deep Work by Cal Newport
Toxic Belief #12: I’m just not motivated and/or capable
News flash! There is no such thing as motivation!
“Wanting” and doing are two different things.
As Yoda says “Do or do not, there is no try”
If you have a desire to make a change, you need to build a system for it to make your daily habits seamless and easy to accomplish.
I definitely recommend you read Atomic Habits if you are struggling with this. It is a true game-changer.
Motivation doesn’t matter. Daily habits do!
Book Recommendation: Atomic Habits by James Clear
Conclusion
Toxic beliefs are all around us.
In fact, most are baked into our culture. Right or wrong we are raised and programmed to believe certain things.
It is our job as adults to BREAK FREE of those.
But you can’t break free of a problem you didn’t know you had.
You need to examine your internal thoughts and beliefs.
Really examine them. Question them. Dissect them.
Only then, can you truly break free from limiting and toxic beliefs and make some big changes.
I have my faults.
We all do.
But isn’t that the beauty of life too? Recognize your faults, and do something about them. I know I am!
This is a good post and reminder. One to reread as a reminder – thanks.