Just wanted to have a little fun today. Too often we in the personal finance world take things a little too seriously. That includes me.
Even though most of us sit around investing in “boring” index funds like $VTI or $VTSAX, they are truly all you really need to grow your wealth.
Still it’s nice to have fun and think about the underlying stocks that make up your portfolio.
Stocks as Avengers
Tesla as Iron Man
Flamboyant, braggadocio, fancy as f*ck. We have just described Tony Stark and Elon Musk. Elon is pretty a real life Tony Stark anywho right?
Throw in a little autopilot and you have yourself Tesla as Iron Man.
- Superhuman strength. Check.
- Genius level intellect. Check.
- Speed. Yes please.
- Proficient scientist and engineer. Yes.
I also love that someone (Musk maybe?) has created Iron Man-Themed Tesla Model S and Model X Vehicles which have been spotted on the streets.
Microsoft as Captain America
A company that was once led by a dorky co-founder in Bill Gates (not hating on you Bill, you are awesome), Microsoft became the most strong and powerful force in computing before being frozen away for years in stock purgatory (Zune right?).
“Captain America has agility, strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete who ever competed. The Super-Soldier formula that he has metabolized has enhanced all of his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency.”
This is Microsoft, especially in the early days. Bill would burn the midnight candles and ricidule his staff if they went home early. He was a difficult boss, but he was driven, competitive, and an incredible deal maker.
Microsoft first used their agility and speed in the 90s, before switching to a position of strength as a leader in their industry.
Apple as Black Panther
Who has all of the slick tech in a self contained ecosystem? The two correct answers are: Apple and Wakanda.
Black Panther is slick and fast. He can climb up walls or scale buildings. But most of his abilities come from a technological advantage and lots and lots of cash. Hmmm…well according to Apple’s recent quarterly report, they have $195.57 billion in cash on hand.
“As chieftain, the Panther is entitled to consume a special heart-shaped herb which, in addition to his mystical, shamanistic connection with the Wakandan Panther God Bast, grants him superhumanly acute senses, enhanced strength, speed, agility, stamina, durability, healing, and reflexes.”
Hmm…can we think of any other chieftain that is known for his mystical, shamanistic connection? Steve Jobs anyone?
Amazon as Thor
“Superhuman strength, speed, agility and immunity to most diseases.”
We just described Amazon right? The speed and agility of this company to deliver packages on time and now same day in many cases is mind blowing.
And now they’ve expanded their business to include a diversified portfolio of excellence. From Prime Video to AWS, Amazon must have a secret weapon similar to Thor’s enchanted hammer. For the moment at leat, Amazon is enchanting in their operational excellence.
Facebook as Hulk
Alright, so we have a “genius-level intellect” in Hulk’s Bruce Banner — and in Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg.
Next up we have superhuman strength, invulnerability, regeneration and more.
This is the story of Facebook. What started in a Harvard dorm as a “Face Book” and a sort of hot or not style voting system, has now turned into an impenetrable social force.
Facebook also owns WhatsApp, Instagram, Oculus VR and more. At the moment they appear unstoppable, similar to Bruce Banner when he turns into the Hulk.
Do we have a love/hate relationship with Facebook? Yes.
Does Bruce Banner have a love/hate relationship with himself? Yes.
Alphabet/Google as Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange is possibly my favorite Avenger. His abilities are so far beyond what I can even comprehend. The Extreme Intelligence is borderline Super Intelligence (something Google is certainly working on – hopefully ethically).
Doctor Strange has Universal Awareness. So does Google. They are everywhere. From search to email, AdWords to AdSense, Android to analytics. The amount of information that they process can only borderline on universal awareness.
Google is Doctor Strange
Berkshire Hathaway as Hawkeye
Let me read you these abilities: Master Archer and marksman, expert tactician, acrobat and hand-to-hand combatant.
Who are we talking about other than Warren Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway?
Warren Buffett’s hand-to-hand combat has and always will be the ability to hunt for bargains. Buffett is value-investing at its finest and then he’ll go toe-to-toe with you during his Annual Shareholder Meetings.
He is and always will be a marksman. He picks his spots, he shoots only once in a blue moon. And when he does, he never misses…well at least almost never.
The Big Banks as Black Widow
At first glance, you may be thinking…what? Me too at first…Here are her abilities:
- “Master in the covert arts of espionage, infiltration & subterfuge
- Expert martial artist, with exceptional agility & athletic ability
- Utilizes advanced weaponry including custom stun batons & “Widow’s Bite” bracelets capable of stunning enemies with electrical discharges.”
Meanwhile The Big Banks (JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Citigroup) are all a master in the covert arts of espionage, infiltration, & subterfuge.
What else are banks if not masters of getting YOU to give them YOUR hard earned money, so that they can profit from YOUR money.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my money in the bank, but there is no doubting that they have managed to stun and touch us all in some way. They are Black Widow.
Paypal as Spider-man
Paypal was originally founded by Elon Musk (our Iron Man). So it is of course fitting that it is Iron Man recruits/gives Spider-Man his big break in Captain America:Civil War.
But Paypal is a superhero in their own right. They own Venmo and have created an easy to use online platform to send/receive money.
We are talking about speed, strength, agility and incredible coordination and balance. This is Paypal.
Disney as Captain Marvel
Last, but not least, we have Disney appearing as Captain Marvel.
Carol Danvers was destined for greatness. And so was Disney.
“Captain Marvel gained the power of the photon energy she accidentally absorbed. As a result, she can fly, has superhuman strength and can project photon energy, which means she can effectively shoot energy balls out of her hands”
Walt Disney was a dreamer and he managed to bring real magic to every single one of us. Yet, I am sure that not even Walt could imagine how impactful Disney was to become. They own:
- Touchstone Pictures
- Marvel franchise
- Lucasfilm and the Star Wars franchise
- Hollywood Records
- 50% stakes in A&E, The History Channel and Lifetime.
If you want your mind to be blown, just look at that above list. And that right there is Captain Marvel. The breadth of her accomplishments compare only to Disney itself.
Which Stock as an Avenger was your favorite?
Well, I hope we all enjoyed a little fun today!
Which one was your favorite? Did I get any wrong? Or way off base?
Leave a comment and let me know.
hahaha very funny imagine them like this
It’s interesting you see Paypal as spider man. Maybe because Paypal has a ton more potential than the other stocks and can’t wait to be unleashed when he gets older, ha.
Very entertaining, and we all want to avoid whatever stock is Antman because it shrinks away to nothing!
Oh wow. Totally forgot about Ant-man, though he is one of the best/enjoyable characters!! Will have to add him later on. He’s probably akin to Home Depot…
Enjoyed reading this piece – might be a bit off-track from what you usually write, but WTH!!.
For sure. Life is too short to be serious all the time!