Seriously….are they?
Sometimes I do wonder…
Especially when I see the family down the street pack up their RV to head out for a long weekend.
Seeing that always makes me a bit jealous, even though I know that owning an RV would be a headache — not to mention that my family just went on a big trip out of the country a few months back.
Or what about when I log onto Facebook or Instagram and see nothing but smiley faces, epic trips to exotic locations, or so-and-so’s recent promotion?
It makes you think…could the Jonses actually be happier?
Two Things Are True
The answer may be yes.
Some families you see on Facebook or Instagram are happier.
But others…not so much.
The reality is that most people already have many wonderful moments throughout the year.
But it doesn’t make the day-to-day grind of parenting, working, or caring for aging parents exhausting.
Whatever your grind is, it is still exhausting.
So two things are true:
- Some of the Joneses are having more fun
- Some of them are not
The fact is that you do not know, and you cannot know.
So maybe we shouldn’t focus on that, should we?
Focus on What YOU Can Control
That brings us to the core of what you can do: focus on what you can control.
For me, that meant taking a social media sabbatical.
For me, that means not obsessing with the news.
For me, that is working to spend more time being present in the now…
Some of my happiest moments are when I forget today’s problems and focus on THIS moment.
When I let everything go and play with my kids.
Cuddling on the couch with my wife and watching a good show without distractions.
When I tune out everyone around me and simply enjoy eating a delicious meal (sorry, everyone).
Or when I go on a hike and somehow find a way to JUST BE.
No matter what I am doing, when I focus on only what I can control, it all just somehow comes together.
So yeah, the Stoics and the Buddhists got it right.
But It’s Not Easy
But no, it is not easy at all!
That doesn’t mean that I don’t find a way to distract myself with something.
I quit Social Media altogether last August, but then filled up my phone usage with fantasy football, doom-scrolling news, tinkering with side-hustles, or even magic puzzles.
Sometimes I can go for days or weeks without truly being present in my life as much as I would like.
But then I remember to focus on what I can control.
I can control where and when I go on vacation.
I can control when I put my phone down and stop doom-scrolling.
I can control how much I work out or how many hikes I go on.
I can control my side-hustles or at least some aspect of them to move the needle.
So…Are The Jonseses Having More Fun?
The fact is that it doesn’t matter.
I want my neighbors to live their best lives.
I want you to live your best life.
And of course I want that for myself too.
So the Joneses can be happy, AND so can I.
But one thing is for certain – obsessing, or feeling bad over what the Joneses are up to, doesn’t get us anywhere.
If you are struggling with that, then you aren’t alone.
We all struggle with jealousy.
No matter how much money you have, no matter how prestigious your job is, you will always struggle with a bit of jealousy.
But the key is to use it to show yourself how you want to live.
Use jealousy as fuel to take positive action.
Use it to travel more, buy that RV, or go on a much-needed camping trip.
Use that jealousy to put more money into your 401(k) so you can retire early.
Whatever IT is for you…use that feeling to guide your way!
So forget about the Joneses (I know, I know, I brought them up in the first place)!
The Joneses matter not. But you…YOU matter.
Focusing on what you and only YOU can control makes all the difference!