I found out yesterday, that my college roommate and friend passed away over the weekend.
It is news that I am still processing, as this is the first time I’ve had something like this happen to someone in my peer group.
I suppose I should consider myself extremely lucky that most of my experiences with death have been grandparents who have died in their late 70s and 80s. I’m sure that is not the norm.
I don’t want or need you to feel sorry for me. My friend and I haven’t been in touch much for the last 15 years or so. We’ve traded a few emails & texts, and I saw him once a little over 5 years ago. But that is about the extent of our relationship post-college.
As expected, this really got me thinking a lot about life, and its invariable ups and downs.
But the recent news also has me feeling lucky for what I have.
I’m grateful to be alive.
I’m thankful for my family.
I’m blessed to be living with abundance and luxury that our ancestors could hardly comprehend.
My friend’s passing is a stark reminder, that we only have today.
Tomorrow never comes
When you think about it, Coach Clint’s tweet really hits home. Tomorrow Never Comes.
You only live in the now. Today.
By the time you wake up tomorrow, it is already today again.
Life is short
My friend passing is a hash reminder that life is short.
I know that I for one have been too full of worry lately.
Too obsessed with this or that.
Too focused on my own shit, and not enough on others.
I’ve spent too much time toiling with my own hobbies, my own interests, and certainly wasting hours away on my phone instead of really engaging with others.
I have more than enough time, but can’t escape the feeling that I am squandering it and letting my loved ones down by not focussing on them as much as I would like:
I’ve gotten so carried away by day-to-day life, that I haven’t given my all to others around me.
Stop hiding behind the busyness of life
I dive so deeply into my passion projects. I obsess about them, and I’ve willed them to success. It is my superpower. And it is my weakness.
This moment in time is a big reminder that I want to give more of myself to others. I want to bring more joy to my loved ones. I need to figure out how to truly be there for someone else besides myself.
I’ve lived a good life. But, if I am being honest with myself and you, I haven’t given it my all.
I’ve hidden behind hobbies.
I’ve hidden behind having more to do.
I’ve hidden behind the pursuit of success and money.
I’ve hidden my emotions in the doing.
I am done hiding.
There is only today
I hope that we can all realize, that all we have is today.
If you’ve been thinking about starting something. Start.
If you’ve been thinking about reaching out to someone. Reach out now.
If you’ve been thinking about leaving your job. Plan your exit.
If you’ve been thinking about giving more of your time or money. Give it.
If you’ve been thinking about any type of change. Do it.
We have to stop hiding behind tomorrow. There is only today.
More from Accidentally Retired
- Is your life flying by too fast?
- A letter from my 80 year old self
- My failure resume: the many mistakes made on the path to success
Something very similar happened here last year. Great write-up, especially the part about being done hiding hit home. Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It’s always a shock to lose someone, especially when they are young.
Your post is a good reminder to not take tomorrow for granted.
Thanks. Still just all seems strange. In the meantime, trying to just live in the present as much as possible.