Book Review, Summary, Highlights, and Quotes from The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Man oh man. I really wanted to like this book, but I struggled with the dialogue format and how the content was presented.
It’s possible that a lot was lost in translation (as it was originally published in Japanese), but nevertheless, the English translation version just didn’t hit for me.
The Courage to Be Disliked is a conversation between a Youth and a Philosopher. The Youth comes to visit the Philosopher as he struggles with his life and how to improve it.
The Philosopher offers sage advice, most of which is based on Adlerian Psychology which is sort of a combination of Stoicism, Buddhism, and psychology.
Mostly, I just found the Youth to be arrogant and offputting, and while the Philosopher offered sound advice, it left me always wanting more.
Adlerian Psychology itself hits on what most of us are looking for in life and that is to make sense of our social connections to others and address our mistaken beliefs about ourselves and others.
The book’s primary emphasis is that all issues are interpersonal relationship issues and hits that point again and again.
In the end, it was a fairly quick read –> but I didn’t love this book and wouldn’t recommend it compared to much more impactful books I’ve read, like Awareness by Anthony de Mello or The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty.
AR Book Rating: 6 out of 10
Best Quotes from The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
At some stage in your life, you chose “being unhappy.” It is not because you were born into unhappy circumstances or ended up in an unhappy situation. It’s that you judged “being unhappy” to be good for you.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
You say that you want to change right this minute. You even claim that you want to be reborn as a different person. After all that, then why are you still unable to change? It is because you are making the persistent decision not to change your lifestyle.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
Admitting mistakes, conveying words of apology, and stepping down from power struggles-none of these things is defeat.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say that you are lacking in the courage to be happy.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparison with one’s ideal self.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
If you think you are right, regardless of what other people’s opinions might be, the matter should be closed then and there.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
If you are not living your life for yourself, then who is going to live it for you?
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
[If] you are disliked by someone . It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
“Judgement” is a word that comes out of vertical relationships. If one is building horizontal relationships, there will be words of more straightforward gratitude and respect and joy.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
You are probably rejecting normality because you equate being normal with being incapable. Being normal is not being incapable.
– Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, The Courage to Be Disliked
More from the Authors:
- Websites: kishimi.com
- Facebook: @ichiro.kishimi
- Twitter: @kishimi
